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Posted by on Feb 16, 2020 in Coaching, General |

Making Your Resolutions Work

We all have our own set of values – those things that we believe in and that make up our personal ethical code.  Whatever it is that we plan to do, it has to fit with who we are.  When what we want conflicts with our values, then it just isn’t going to work.

So, for example, say one of those values that we live by is being careful with money.  And what you really, really want is that bright, shiny, go fast Aston Martin.  However, short of having over a hundred grand in spare cash, the only way most of us could buy it would be on credit.  And if our budget is already stretched then acquiring the car goes against the value (or principle) of being prudent with cash.  So, we’re not likely to buy the car until we know you can afford it.

In the same way, if we live alone and socialising in the pub after work is the only time we get to be with other people, it may be really difficult to set a goal of spending less time in the pub each week.  If the goal leads to spending time alone when we value our friends and social life – we’re not going to stick to it for very long.

Of course, we can look at achieving our goals in a way that suits is and is true to the values we live by.  For example, we could talk to friends about other ways we can spend time together, such as going to each other’s home for a meal. 

We all need to understand what our values are.  It isn’t something that’s taught in school, so where do we start.  One of the best ways to understand our values or principles is to look at the things that upset us or even make us angry. 

So, next time you feel out of sorts want to shout at someone, really think about what is upsetting you.  Not the action or the outcome.  The underlying principle that is being rubbed up against.

We’ll come back to this again, as being true to yourself is a great way to live your life.